he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize