haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.