If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.