...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend