so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?