Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
