that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
