So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
