I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
