Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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