i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
