The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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