So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
