Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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