yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
