so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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