After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
