He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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