turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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