I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
