he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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