maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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