I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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