im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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