'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
