Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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