Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
