I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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