Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Panties = found
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
