you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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