So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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