If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
