oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
