Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
