the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
