The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
