Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
