my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
