I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
