Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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