I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
