My entire life is one complicated drinking game
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
either way he was missing a nipple.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
