I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
