I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
