i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
do nipples grow back?
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