no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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