remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
