"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Maybe he injected his testicle?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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