I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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