YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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