guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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