He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize