I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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