Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
