I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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