I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
