The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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