Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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