I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
