but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
