Its about making memories worth repressing
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
That reminds me...we need to get swords
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
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If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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