C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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