piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
its not stalking. its research.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Who died my cat blue again?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
