Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
