whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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