i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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