Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
