I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
