You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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